Anxiety, Depersonalisation and Derealisation: Why Things Feel Unreal

What you describe fits the experiences called depersonalisation and derealisation. During anxiety, the brain can switch into a detached, over-alert state, so you may feel unreal, cut off, or as if family and home are fake. It is frightening, but it does not mean you are going mad, and it often reduces when the anxiety settles.

Try this for one minute

• Put both feet on the floor and press your toes down.
• Name five things you can see, four you can touch, and three you can hear.
• Hold something cold or run cool water over your hands.
• Breathe out slowly, making each out-breath longer than the in-breath.

Try not to argue with the unreal feeling. Bring attention back to physical facts: the floor, the wall, your clothes, the sound of a fan. Repeating this for a few minutes is more useful than asking yourself whether the feeling is “real.”

Tell one safe person

The distance from family can become another source of anxiety, especially if you feel you must hide it or act normal. You could tell one trusted person, “My anxiety is making things feel unreal. I do not need you to fix it; could you sit with me and talk about something ordinary for ten minutes?”

If your family may dismiss it, start with one safer relative or friend rather than explaining it to everyone.

Get checked if it continues

If this is new, happening often, or affecting sleep, study, work, or family life, speak with a psychologist, psychiatrist, or doctor. They can assess anxiety and rule out other causes. If you ever feel unable to stay safe, get another person physically with you and seek urgent local help.