How to Stop Worrying About the Future and Stay Present

You cannot switch these fears off by force. When your mind is trying to protect your child, mother and yourself, fighting every thought often makes it louder. The aim is to notice the fear, do what is useful today, and gently return to the present.

Give each fear one next step

Write three headings—your child, your mother, and yourself. Under each one, write only the one practical thing you can do today. It might be arranging school bags, checking that your mother has what she needs, or preparing for tomorrow’s first task. If there is no useful action today, write “not solvable right now” and leave it there.

Put worry in its place

Choose a fixed 15-minute “worry time” each day. When fears appear outside that time, tell yourself, “I will think about this at 7 pm,” then return to what you were doing. During worry time, separate problems into two groups: things you can act on and things that are only possibilities. Deal with the first group; let the second group wait.

Bring yourself back to now

When fear rises, place both feet on the floor and breathe out slowly, making each out-breath a little longer than the in-breath. Then name five things you can see, four you can feel, and three you can hear. This tells your body that you are here, in this moment—not inside tomorrow.

For work, choose just one small task for the next 20 minutes. You do not need to feel completely calm before starting; doing one manageable thing often brings calm afterwards. Take tension one hour at a time, na?